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Also, I'm a pundit for the American Daily Herald if you'd like to follow my column: American Daily Herald--Vicki H. Moss

Posted July 23, 2012


Yes, before my very eyes stood Justin Bieber. Although a cardboard Justin Bieber after I put my peepers on. He was like one of those ancient paintings of dead people-you know the ones where no matter where you walk in the room those eyes are always following your every move? I strolled a little closer to see what he was selling, though I knew he couldn't entice me to buy one thing. I was immune to his music. Or was I? I had never heard him croon. Imagine that. But wait, it read-Someday-on the display. Someday what?

Oh. Perfume. Someday…that was a tad intriguing. Perfume was a different story. I couldn't imagine what a perfume Justin Bieber might put his name on would smell like. Throwing out a powerful word like Someday could drive the young girls mooney-eyed. Sort of like a promise. Maybe. A lot more promising than a young friend of mine's aspiration to name his men's cologne Swagger.

I looked around to make sure no one was watching. It was the middle of the afternoon and not many people were in the store. Checking for a tester, I couldn't resist. Hmmmm. The fragrance wafted past my nose and the three-ring binders stacked next to the hole punchers. Not too bad. It reminded me of a cologne I used to wear in high school called Loves Baby Soft. But a little bit sweeter. And then it hit me. G-r-e-a-t marketing. Put Justin Bieber's sweet face in the school supply section and young girls would be dragging their moms to the Someday display begging for the $27+ and $18+ bottles of the sweet stuff promises are made of. But could real perfume even be bought for those prices these days?

I could hear the squeals and petitions now. "But Mom, if Justin Bieber loves that scent on a girl, I must wear that scent! All the other kids have even talked their parents into buying stock!" It made me want to buy some so I could pretend to be a young girl again. I could get back into character to revise that Young Adult novel. And then when I read, "It's a fragrance full of the energy, passion, and confidence that pushes him to the top of the charts," I thought, "Yeah baby, maybe that's what I need to help sell more books. I've not been wearing the right perfume. I need to switch from Miracle by Lancome to Someday by Bieber.

Oh, pul-lease. Me wearing Justin Bieber's perfume? Yeah, right. Someday. Focus. The photo. You need to send it in. Today. Get busy in the camera section. Hut-hut. Marveling at the marketing ploy, I mwahhed a kiss at the cardboard Justin and tore myself from the display, continuing on my mission vowing, "Someday, Justin, someday." I just don't have time to wait for you to grow some facial hair.

Back home, I realized my photo for my book soon to be birthed Writing with Voice still needed some work. Lots of photoshopping. After a couple of more hours of painstaking pixel pickin' work had passed, I trekked back to Walmart. This time, I thought the photo was improved, however, while pumping gas down the road later-so far I had not succumbed to purchasing Someday-I decided that the larger size image was too grainy to scan, so, I slogged back to Walmart-yes-the third time. You know what they say about third time being a charm. I pushed myself like a drill sarge to drive back and cover all machine gun nests. Or could it be the marketing ploy for Justin Bieber's Someday was working on me like a siren's call-Spritz me…buy me…take me home…it will help the sale of your books…your books…your books. My scent will help you…Someday you'll make the best seller list.

By now, it was after 5 p.m. and the fact that I hadn't stopped long enough to eat anything since breakfast could have been the reason I'd begun to hear Bieber-boy. School had been out a couple of hours and lots of moms had been shopping with their daughters for school supplies. I saw several mother and daughter tag teams with laden buggies trying to make decisions about notebooks, erasers, pencil sharpeners, reams of paper, and-whoaaaahhh.

It looked like a fog was chasing the Walmart door greeter. And the closer I got to the notebooks and pencil erasers, what was that sickeningly sweet odor? Sorry, but that description called for the detested adverb.

The entire school supply section smelled as though a Justin Bieber love grenade had exploded. Scores of little Justin Bieber fans had pumped the testers to get a whiff of the now odiferous perfume wafting all of the way to the pharmaceutical section where a man was waiting in line, holding his head in sheer agony, while waiting on his meds. If I ever needed a hanky for my nose, this was one of the times. Anything to get me through to the photo section. A little Someday is heavenly--as some teens have written--but a lot of Someday can carry you out the door. Needless to say, I held my nose on the way out to keep from having too much of a good allergic thing. Ha-chew!

And when I returned home and fired up my computer, just out of curiosity, I Googled Justin's Web site to listen to one of his songs to see if he was really "all that." I chose the song, "Boyfriend." The tune was fine. Singing cute. But it threw me into flashbacks of going to a Backstreet Boys concert in Hotlanta with my teen daughter and her friends and standing in our seats the entire time while I tried to protect my ears drums. I thought, Okay-I can see why a ten-year-old would swoon over Bieber. He can carry a tune-for a bambino. But then I came to the line, "I could be your Buzz Lightyear"-and I burst out laughing. Couldn't help it. Not in this galaxy Bieber-babe and besides, I've always had a crush on Woody. There's just something that unnerves me when it comes to bowlegged cowboys that sound like Tom Hanks.

But, someday, Justin-maybe someday. When you grow some facial hair, reach voting age, and learn to cherish Marble Meads. And if I'm still alive. Okay, I'm pulling your leg. I'm way too old for you and I know you're now breathing easier.

For now, I think I'll continue working hard on my writing craft using my Marble Meads and religiously spritz on Miracle by Lancome for a morale booster. And yes, I still believe in miracles-I've seen a few. And they're all in God's timing.

Mark 11:23 - Have faith in God. For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith."

P.S. I can see why the young teens love your new perfume. You're also doing a great job with marketing.

Comments anyone?

If you would like to comment or have questions about this article, email me vmoss@livingwaterfiction.com

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